


Reconciling with Russia

by FantabulousAss



Series: Reconnecting [6]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alfred is fat, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Finally they fuck, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Get Together, M/M, Makeup, Makeup Sex, Teasing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Weight Gain, Weight Issues, fat america, sweet and shmoopy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:33:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28439184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantabulousAss/pseuds/FantabulousAss
Summary: After a night of debauchery, Alfred and Ivan piece together what's happened. They're supposed to figure shit out and leave. Of course, with so many years between the last time they were in a room together, this isn't exactly how this fic ends. They talk, of course, and so much more.
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia)
Series: Reconnecting [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053482
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	Reconciling with Russia

_ “Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” _

The memories of the night before were finally coming back. Alfred had been laying in his hotel room bed staring at the unfamiliar ceiling for what must’ve been an hour already. He  _ had _ in fact, noticed the warm body in his bed, but was too busy panicking and trying to figure out how the  _ fuck _ it had happened, to worry about that right now.

He remembered the party. Almost all the nations, celebrating the last case of the Virus being eradicated that year, in the same room. Drinks and food had flowed freely, and for once, Alfred let himself indulge. He usually didn’t like alcohol, Arthur’s own tumultuous relationship with it being more than enough exposure for him, but he had figured this would be fine, nothing would come of it. He, obviously, had been wrong.

It wasn’t until the body groaned that Alfred’s fight or flight kicked in and he fled his fat ass to the hotel bathroom and slammed the door.

He was a mess and his stomach ached with bloat. That only confused him more. He didn’t remember eating all that much at the party… but he wasn’t ravenous, like he usually was in the morning, and he was still bloated… so he’d obviously gotten food at some point…

He sat down to pee, feeling too wobbly and sore to stand, and tried to remember more, brain zoning in and out while he stared at the wallpaper on the hotel wall in front of him.

Alfred hadn’t been there long when a knock startled him and he almost fell over while pulling up his pants, trying to decide whether or not it was more humiliating to have them done up under his gut or over it.

“Alfred, can I please use the restroom?” The weak, exhausted voice on the other side of the door made Alfred freeze.

“I- hmm. Yeah.” He had to clear his throat, it being too gummy with sleep and dehydration to work properly. Under his belly would have to do. He flushed and washed his hands, opening the door to see no one other than Ivan Braginsky on the other side.

His face was red, he could feel the heat of his blush snaking its way down his neck, but he side-stepped to let Ivan in. Ivan rushed in and slammed the door behind him as well and Alfred could only hope that Ivan was having a similar moment of panic and confusion.

A few years ago, they’d broken up on terrible terms. While Alfred was adept at holding a grudge, he had known, somewhere, that they would end up together again, even if they tried to kill each other again first.

Turns out, it hadn’t taken them trying to kill each other, just getting blackout drunk at a party.  _ With the whole world watching! _

Alfred snatched his phone from where it laid, near dead on the nightstand. It was early, but he had gotten a few clearly drunk texts from Arthur from the night before, along with the usual social media and email updates.

_ Were u hoin? _

_ Come ack _

_ Uber _

_ Uber _

_ Uber to hotel _

_ Hotel _

_ Fuckgetmetohotel _

Alfred chuckled but when the toilet flushed, he leapt over to his suitcase and pulled out his sleep shirt that he was  _ beyond _ grateful for bringing. He usually didn’t bother, it wasn’t like he usually had anyone in his room with him, but…

He had just finished pulling it over his head and was still straightening it when Ivan walked out.

Even hungover, unshaven and bleary eyed, he was still so, so hot. Alfred looked away, leaning against the wall as Ivan sat on the bed.

If he had looked, he would see the little mound of half-hard pudge in Ivan’s lap bunching into two rolls. The upper part round and almost hard from his alcohol consumption and the lower roll being soft enough to bite, from the hearty meals and sweet desserts he always indulged in during this time of year.

The room was entirely too quiet, so when Ivan started speaking, Alfred yelped and placed a hand on his chest.

“Good morning.”

“Fucking Christ on a cracker, dude, don’t do that.”

“I cannot say good morning to the man that I slept with last night?” Alfred chanced a look and saw those beautiful purple eyes glaring over at him. “That I have barely spoken to in years?”

“You did that to yourself and you know it.”

The room went silent again until Alfred cleared his throat. “Look. I… still don’t remember everything that happened last night. You’re better at holding your liquor, do you remember?”

Ivan chuckled, eyes closing as he leaned backwards, huge hands disappearing in the soft blanket, drawing Alfred’s eye with the movement, eyes raking over his winter-soft form, mouth going slightly dry. “ _ Da _ .”

“Well let me in on the fucking secret, asshole!”

“I think you know exactly what happened.” He glanced over, staring pointedly at Alfred’s stomach. “Usually you wake up like you are starving.”

Alfred crossed his arms tightly over his chest. “Shut the fuck up.”

Ivan rolled his eyes and stood, grabbing his shirt, a shade too light to even be pastel purple,  _ it really highlighted his eyes _ , and started buttoning it. “If you will be that way, then I just take my leave. You wonder forever.”

With a groan of frustration, Alfred walked over and slapped Ivan’s hands away from his buttons. “Stop, stop. Tell me. We’ll order breakfast? If you want?” When their eyes met, Alfred glanced away and felt his lip wobble into a pout. It was the closest they’d been in years. His belly practically brushed Ivan’s. “This doesn’t mean anything. Shut up.”

Ivan smirked and continued buttoning his shirt, knuckles bumping up against Alfred’s belly as he did so. “Of course not. Yes, let’s order breakfast.”

After they ordered breakfast, they started to clean up the room, gathering their clothes and either draping them over the backs of chairs or folding them up.

Alfred  _ did _ have an idea of what had gone on after they had left it, but he didn’t remember  _ leaving _ the party. He had no memory of how they had gotten in his hotel room, how they’d  _ chosen _ his hotel room.

When he saw all the McDonald’s garbage near the tiny hotel garbage can, he realized why he wasn’t exactly hungry.

It was something they’d done often enough when they were together, stuffing Alfred full of his favorite foods… they’d never done it while Alfred was so fat though… he’d been, at most, 250 pounds when they’d been together. Now, he was nearly 380 pounds, and he almost felt that shame he’d been carrying around with him in the years after they’d broken up. Almost. He knew he was significantly larger than he’d been when they’d last been together, but Ivan didn’t seem nervous around him, didn’t seem to regret anything they’d done. He didn’t shy away when Alfred got close.

One of Alfred’s main worries, when they’d broken up, was how much Ivan had lied to him. He knew he’d lied about a lot of things, but thankfully, his appreciation for Alfred’s body didn’t seem to be one of them.

Not… that this was going to continue. They were going to have breakfast, try to figure out what happened, and then go their separate ways.

At least, that was the plan. That’s what Alfred wanted to do. That’s what he  _ thought _ he wanted to do.

When the room service person knocked on the door, Alfred went to open it, smiling sunnily and throwing in his southern drawl while thanking the worker and handing them a tip. Ivan found himself smiling at that wide frame, fat backside and god awful messy hair that looked just presentable enough from the front. It was nice to be in the same room, alone, with Alfred again.

Alfred had both plates in his hands and placed them down on the little particle board table, one plate in front of one chair and one in front of the other.

“So.” Alfred started right before taking his first bite of scrambled eggs. “What  _ exactly _ happened last night? I have texts from England saying that he saw me leave, but they weren’t worried texts, so… What happened?”

Ivan bit into a piece of breakfast ham and swallowed. “We did not hook up at the party, if that is what you are asking. I left a little after you did, and when you saw me, you acted…” A light flush rose to Ivan’s pale cheeks and he stared at his plate, clearing his throat. “You acted like we had never had a fight and it was nice… to be around you again.”

Alfred sighed and placed the slice of toast back down on the plate. He leaned back in his chair and clenched his jaw. “I… I know what you mean.” There was no use denying it, not after their last interaction had been so… stiff.

“We never got to talk about everything. I regretted as soon as I…” He quirked his lips upwards, eyes glancing upwards and settling back down at Alfred. “That is not true. I did not think of it until you found out. I am sorry, Alfred.”

And the way he said his name,  _ Elfret _ , made Alfred sigh again, wistfully this time. He’d missed that dearly. He had missed being with Ivan. He had missed everything about the older man.

“It’s not okay. I can’t say it’s okay, because it’s not, and I can’t say I’ve forgiven you, because I don’t think I have, but… I-,” He sighed and stared at the carpet. “I’ve missed you a lot. Not being able to see you has been really shitty, but I couldn’t trust you for so long… Truth be told I still don’t know if I can, or if I really even want to take the chance...”

As Alfred struggled to find more words, the room went silent aside from Ivan’s chewing and the noises of the fork against the plate every once in a while.

Once Ivan noticed Alfred wasn’t eating, he pointed his fork at the plate. “You should eat.”

Alfred rolled his eyes and shook his head, glancing at the small slices of bread and the large pile of scrambled eggs and many bacon slices. “I  _ should _ have chosen something a little healthier. Why didn’t you tell me what happened last night before I ordered it?”

“Perhaps, but do not waste food.” Ivan smirked at Alfred, who couldn’t really understand why until he said, “Because then you would not have ordered something you like. Now eat… unless you would like help?”

Alfred let out a startled laugh, face flushing and growing warm as he did so, seeming unused to the positive tone Ivan addressed him with. “No, Ivan, I don’t think I need help.” He leaned his cheek onto his fist and shoveled some more eggs in his mouth, watching Ivan who was watching his mouth, expression heartachingly familiar in its clear  _ want _ for more, pancakes near forgotten. “Really, old man? What about your stamina?”

“I am not so old that my stamina is down. What about yours? You fell asleep rather quickly last night. Is this weight finally slowing you down?” The smirk was a challenge, eyes showing want for something familiar, frightening, crossing boundaries. This? This was comfortable. Teasing, none of it serious, rolling off their lips and tongues, until they were daring each other to touch, to fuck around and find out.

“Nope. Ain’t nothin’ that can slow me down.” He smirked and bit another forkful of eggs, dully noticing that was the last of them. He’d have to finish the toast and then his breakfast was over.

Thing was, he wasn’t ready for breakfast to be over. Truth be told, he was more ready to taste the sweetness of syrup off Ivan’s lips, his tongue. They’d already crossed years of built up boundaries, what was the harm in crossing one more?

Ivan stared at him as he popped the last of his pancakes in his mouth, leaving a small ring of syrup on his lips, the look on his face meaningful and full of challenge.

_ Oh, so he has the same idea? _

He wondered what Ivan’s lips would taste like under the syrup. If he hadn’t been 20 pounds away from 400, he’d have leapt across the table and pinned Ivan beneath him. Instead, he got up, walked over to where Ivan sat and leaned over him, one arm on the backrest behind the taller man and the other on the arm of the chair, knee separating Ivan’s legs. His back twinged with the weight of his full belly falling so low to brush gently against Ivan’s own stomach as he tilted his head and kissed him, the tip of Ivan’s cold nose pressing insistently into Alfred’s chubby cheek.

Ivan’s hands attempted to snake around his waist, but even his long arms were no match for Alfred’s girth and his hands rested on Alfred’s wide, round hips. He kept his hands outside of his shirt, a fact that Alfred was very grateful for.

Alfred sucked Ivan’s bottom lip as they separated. As Ivan started to stand, Alfred stepped back to give him room, only to have Ivan adjusting his grip on Alfred’s wrists and bring him closer again, their torsos tightly squashed together, Ivan threatening to topple him as he rose. He moved one hand and wrapped it around Alfred’s side, near where his chubby tits met his belly, keeping him in place and assuring him he would not fall, the other arm coming up to gently cup Alfred’s warm, flushed cheek, thumb resting so lightly on his cheekbone as he brought their lips together again for another long kiss.

When they finally broke for air, Alfred rested his head against Ivan’s collarbone and sighed, arms wrapping around Ivan’s own thick waist. “I’ve missed you,” He whispered, inhaling the scent of breakfast, sleep, the remnants of the party and picking out the undertones of what was distinctly Ivan. Standing here, in Ivan’s arms, he felt the love of the older man practically wash over him as he gave him a little squeeze.

Ivan gave a little sigh of his own, resting his cheek on the crown of Alfred’s head. He finally felt the rod that was holding up his back relax, as if it had been made of ice, and just standing next to his beloved had melted it. “I have also missed you, Alfred. It has been too long.”

Alfred agreed. It was good that they’d taken a break, and they still needed to talk about so much, but having each other so close was a welcome feeling, Alfred sharing his warmth and allowing Ivan to steal it.

The moment was tender, much more tender than their previous teasing had alluded to. It was always like this, between the two of them. They loved to tease the other, especially when nothing serious was on the line. This time, the only thing on the line was their resolve, the only thing they could give up were the inhibitions they had kept for so long… so short in their elongated lives, but so long to be away from someone so adored.

Neither knew how long they stood there in each others’ embrace, until Alfred gave a little cough and Ivan could practically feel him blushing. “So, um… I know you’ve got eyes, and I know you saw…  _ some  _ stuff last night, but I-... I don’t look the way I did before. If… that’s a problem, I  _ would  _ understand, y’know.”

Ivan chuckled so low it almost sounded like a purr, eyes heavy lidded with… Alfred wasn’t sure if it was amusement or lust, as they slowly ran over Alfred’s body. “Darling, you know I love seeing you so swollen you could pop. Why would this be any different?”

“Because I’m not just swollen anymore! I’m  _ fat _ , Ivan, properly fat, and before I was only chubby, and I just… You can’t throw me around anymore, not like you used to. Not that you can’t pick me up, but I… I’ll break shit if you throw me.” Despite the fact that he knew Ivan liked his body larger, and they’d done so much that had bordered on feedism and fat appreciation… he couldn’t help but feel a little vulnerable, after his trip around the world, and the fact that he’d gained over 100 pounds since they’d broken up. He was much larger than he used to be, and despite everything they had done together, it was still a sore spot for him, especially after the breakup.

Ivan’s eyelids twitched and his pupils grew, nearly swallowing his irises. Despite the warmth of humiliation on his cheeks, Alfred reacted when he felt Ivan’s body react, no doubt wondering what it was they could destroy together in that room.

“I would like very much to throw you.” He whispered, voice throaty and almost seeming to get stuck there on his Adam’s apple.

Alfred laughed and shook his head to shake away the anxiety as best he could, hands moving up to Ivan’s unshaven face to bring him closer, until they kissed again for a long time.

Ivan’s hands finally made their way under Alfred’s shirt, grabbing, exploring, mapping the new changes, appreciating every new bulge and wanting to put his mouth on every exaggerated curve.

“Your hands are cold,” Alfred whined, shivering with pleasure and with goosebumps, until Ivan finally took charge and gently pushed Alfred back until he fell back onto the bed. The frame groaned, but stayed steady, and Ivan chuckled at the sound. “You really are getting fat.” He mumbled, entranced, watching the entirety of Alfred’s body wobble and shake as it settled into the bed.

“I warned you.” Alfred shot back, face bright red as his heart sunk, watching Ivan to see what he wanted first.

Predictably, Ivan wanted to see all the changes Alfred had gone through, ordered him to sit up in Russian and helped him remove his shirt.

Alfred’s belly pooled in his lap, covering almost all of the evidence of his boxers. It was lightly dusted with blond hair, most stretch marks faded and silvery, but a blessed few still shined bright and pink. He ran his thumb over them, mouth falling open slightly with how soft his stomach was, despite the hair. There was no hard beer gut atop the flabby underneath, all of him was incredibly soft, fat, plush. He had gotten to feel it, even though he’d gotten a drunken taste the night before. Even Alfred’s chest, which had only been starting to soften when they were still together, was soft and plush, almost feminine breasts sitting atop that glorious, stretch marked belly.

He had to touch all of it, wanted to taste all the new growth, see how it would feel against his tongue, how it would feel if he bit down. There was so much to bite, now, so much to nibble and suck, so much to bruise.  _ God above, he’d missed this. _

He made brief eye contact with Alfred before he started, and the worry he found in those beautiful sky blues made him smile fondly, lust pounding in his trousers forgotten for the moment so he could assure the beautiful man before him. “You are  _ so sexy _ , Alfred. I have never, ever lied about that.”

Alfred’s smile was wobbly and nervous, but he nodded and fell back. Ivan was captivated by the slosh and wobble of that belly, which had been so much fun to stuff and rub last night, but was twice as enthralling now that they were both totally sober and playing their games once again.

He placed his hand on the side of Alfred’s gut and made it wobble again. He sighed as his dick twitched to attention. “ _ So hot _ .”

That was when Ivan noticed Alfred’s own prick, straining against the zipper of the pants he’d been wearing last night. If he hadn’t been laying down, Ivan didn’t know if he would’ve seen the thing.

In his memory, it had once been quite long, with decent thickness, but now… he had to chuckle and see it fully. He unzipped Alfred’s pants, pulling them and his underwear down and watched as it jutted out, proud and hard in the cool hotel air. “You have gotten so fat your dick is starting to shrink.” He chuckled, dying to taste the thing, to feel Alfred’s soft underbelly press against his face while he blew him, feel the fat pad that had grown there on his lips.

“Shut the fuck up, oh my god.” Alfred laughed and threw his arm over his eyes. The way he had said that, so amused and so  _ obviously _ in awe, made a raw pulse go through him, assuring him and healing him, finally revealing that yes, Ivan had lied, but had only lied about professional matters, never about their relationship, never about his attraction and adoration for the younger blond. He had always found Alfred attractive, and the way his eyes practically devoured him now made him feel immense, but in a good way, like he was all Ivan could see.

He watched as Ivan pulled out a little bottle of lube. He laughed and quirked an eyebrow, “Did you plan on getting lucky?”

“You never know when the moment will arise.” He said, glancing down at Alfred’s cock,  _ son of a bitch, making puns _ . “I am just happy that I remembered.”

Alfred watched as Ivan pulled out his own cock, just as large as ever, proud and erect, and started to stroke it, lubing it up first. Another pulse waved through him, though he was unsure of Ivan’s plans. He wasn’t so fat that they couldn’t fuck this way, but it would be much easier if he were flipped over. When Ivan let out a shuddering moan, Alfred looked back up at him. “How do we want to do this?” He asked, rubbing the head of his cock with the tips of his fingers and giving a little shiver himself.

He took only a moment to think about it. “I want to see.” He said, motioning his hand at Alfred’s pants and underwear. “Off.”

Alfred quickly shimmied out of his pants, every move setting off a new round of jiggling, wobbling, and as Ivan slowly stroked himself, he could almost imagine himself fucking his bellybutton…  _ no, is too small… but we can fix that _ …

At the thought of Alfred gaining even more weight, he had to pinch his base. Alfred was already so much bigger than he’d ever thought he’d get, and he’d done it all by himself. Ivan wished he had been able to watch more closely, encourage his little cravings, indulge him like no one else, spoil the boy rotten for all he cared, as long as the results had been the bulging, wobbling ball of fat so tantalizingly close and yet just a bit too far to touch.

“I want to be inside you,” He mumbled as Alfred finally kicked his fat thighs free of his pants. His thighs, he knew, had muscle buried beneath, but now, so swollen and round, you’d never know that the body of an athlete, soldier, superhuman was hidden underneath, so draped in fat you’d never, ever think he was capable of throwing a tank around like a baseball. The power he hid under the fat was more arousing still. He wondered how large Alfred would allow himself to grow before he would put a cap on it and refuse to do so anymore. He wondered if Alfred would allow him to set that limit, now that they were doing this again.

“While it’s unbearably sexy to watch you try not to come all over my fat gut, why don’t you come down and try to do something about it?” Alfred was smirking there, looking a little more self-assured, and that was when Ivan noticed his double chin, plump and biteable. He placed his knee in the small space Alfred’s spread legs allowed and allowed his dick to slap the underside of Alfred’s belly as he started marking him up, tasting and sucking the flavors of yesterday off so he could get to the sweetness that Alfred always seemed to have.

Alfred shuddered, and grabbed wildly for Ivan’s prick, wanting  _ some _ form of relief, knowing Ivan would practically devour him if he didn’t keep him on track. He guided it to the fold between his lower belly and fat pad. It would be enough for Ivan, but his own prick was feeling a little neglected. He could barely reach the head at this angle, with Ivan on top of him so he stopped Ivan with a sigh. “It might be easier if… I flip over.”

It took him a moment, but Ivan soon saw the problem. He smirked and pinched the lowermost roll on Alfred’s stomach. “It might be.” He agreed as Alfred squealed. “Pig.”

The nickname, one that had been used in so many ways in the past sent another shock right through Alfred’s body, down to his dick. He  _ was _ a pig, wasn’t he? He hadn’t even needed Ivan’s help getting this big, he’d done it all himself.

He flipped over, immediately feeling those cold hands grabbing as much ass as he could, measuring and testing the feel of it. Oddly enough, he didn’t mind Ivan’s exploring. He could reach his dick at this angle, letting his gravity bring his belly down and up towards his chest enough that he could stroke what was left of his cock with two fingers.

Ivan got back on track once he heard Alfred’s low moan, jealous that he was having a good time without him, and when they finished, they finished together. It was quick, sure, but it had been a long time for both of them, especially with the other so close.

Both of their breathing was heavy but, like always, Alfred recovered faster, throwing his arm over Ivan’s chest and laying his head on his shoulder. His belly, big, stubborn bitch that it was, melded to Ivan’s side, warming the clammy skin. Ivan reached his arm over and rubbed at that soft, delicate skin, delighting in the fact that it was what pure indulgence felt like, that Alfred had glutted his way there for years, first out of spite and stress, then out of a need for clarity and comfort.

The room was silent but for his own breaths and the sounds of his rough calluses on Alfred’s soft expanse. He grabbed the dough ball, gave it a tender little shake. It was not just arousing. It was adorable.

Alfred had always been adorable, but those cheeks, that round frame, everything there so precious and unmarred by anything but the marks of skin failing to stretch with the gain of its master. His hands wandered as he moved, until he was straddling Alfred’s wide belly, thighs stretched as far as they could go, warm skin so close to his crotch he nearly thrusted into it. He wondered how that might feel...

He kept his composure as best he could, though, and leaned over Alfred, until their noses were side by side and their foreheads rested together. Ivan’s prick was pressed flush to Alfred’s stomach, the soft warmth smothering against his own softened body. He kissed Alfred, closing his eyes as he did so, opening them to see those bright blues half lidded with pleasure and pure adoration and affection.

“You,” He managed to croak out, watching Alfred’s lashes flutter as he blinked, “are so…” He didn’t have the words, not in English, Russian or any of the other various languages the two of them knew. Ivan tried to look for the words by glancing upwards. He was stunning, yes, perfect, sure, adorable, absolutely, but there just weren’t the perfect arrangement of words that would come to mind to help Alfred understand just how sublime the moment was.

Luckily, a little laugh rumbled from Alfred’s chest and he gently led Ivan’s face back down to his, giving Ivan’s nose a little nuzzle once he’d come back down. “I know. So are you.” He left his hand on Ivan’s face as they kissed once again, this time, tender and affectionate rather than hungry and hurried.

This world, the one that existed only within the walls of the hotel room, was perfect. They could come back together, not worry about bosses, politics, the weight of responsibility that always sat so heavy on their shoulders. They were together, each adoring the other for so many things, so few of them verbally recognized. They leaned on one another without it being a worry to world security, bickered without fear of anyone taking them seriously. They loved freely, without fear of rejection from the other. It had been the exact moment they’d been missing from their time apart. While they did not have time together often when they had been a couple, they had created their own atmospheres, their own worlds, where nothing else had mattered, unless they wanted it to.

That was the case, at least, for nearly thirty years. It had been tainted, and Ivan was determined to fix what he had broken. He hadn’t felt remorse at the time, but realizing what it had cost him had been the change he’d needed. His government could and would meddle in all types of foreign affairs, that was technically their job anyway, but he would not sacrifice his relationships with other countries for politics’ sake.

He wanted to say it, wanted to explain, but the look in Alfred’s blue eyes rendered him speechless. The kindness he found there, the forgiveness that he’d said he wasn’t sure about, the affection and adoration, all overwhelmed Ivan. His face was bright red, and he rested his head on Alfred’s, closing his eyes and feeling Alfred’s warmth chase the cold that seemed to follow him no matter how much physical activity he did, right away.

Alfred’s hands, warm, so warm, brought Ivan down, let him lay atop his belly, the warmth he radiated shivering through him. He adored this, adored that Alfred was shorter than him, so while they were standing, he was the larger, more intimidating of the two, but loved that Alfred was physically larger and so strong as well. He could be vulnerable here, he could lay atop him and not worry about his own heavy, sturdy body hurting Alfred.

He adjusted where he lay, placing his head on Alfred’s chest and feeling that strong heartbeat under the fatty breast. “I adore you, Alfred.”

Alfred ran his fingers through Ivan’s hair, noting that his hair was coarser than his own, with a smile. After so long, he’d forgotten little details like that. “That’s gay.”

They both chuckled, breath slowly returning and conversation stunted. “So… I guess we gotta talk about some stuff.” Alfred said, dragging his nails lightly down Ivan’s sides, feeling out where his little love handles bulged softly from his hips. He loved that, loved knowing that Ivan was consistent with this thing at least.

“We do not have to.” Ivan said, unwilling to let the conversation go back to official matters just yet. He was still soaking up that warmth, and dreaded leaving it so soon.

“We don’t  _ have to _ , but we should.” When Ivan didn’t move, just tightened his grip on Alfred slightly, he smiled. “It doesn’t have to be bad.”

Ivan knew, however, that they would fight. They always did when it came to talking about serious matters like politics or the consequences of the other’s actions. Their last conversation had entailed Alfred saying he never wanted to be near Ivan again, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear anything similar. He was too raw, too vulnerable here, atop Alfred’s magnificent gut, framed by his fat legs, surrounded by the warmth and affection he had been denied for so many years. “It does not… but it will be.”

“Ivan, I’m too tired to fight. I… I want us to talk. Like adults. I need to give you boundaries and you need to respect them.” Ivan looked up at him, brows furrowed in a way Alfred knew meant he was about to argue, so he started speaking first, attempting to keep his tone even and as non confrontational as he could while also speaking as quickly as possible. “I know you’re sorry and you probably won’t do that shit again, but I  _ need _ to  _ know  _ that you won’t. I need you to tell me you won’t and I need you to mean it.”

Ivan looked at Alfred’s face, the pain he carried there. He knew Alfred needed assurances, he always did. It wasn’t that he was insecure, he just… liked to hear things out loud. Well, maybe he was a little insecure, too, with the way he had warned Ivan earlier, as if he’d never looked at him before, every time they’d been naked around each other. Alfred believed people, when they spoke. He was good at telling when people were lying, but Ivan had always been one of those gray areas. He didn’t always know, and that made him so, so frightened.

Alfred swallowed hard and looked as far away from Ivan as he could. It was hard, with him right there in his peripherals, to admit that once again, he needed to be told something that should be so obvious.

When the only issue had been his weight, he had liked hearing what Ivan thought about it, enjoyed the praise Ivan loved to shower him with. He had also needed it. He needed to know that the person in his bed found him attractive, because he couldn’t understand how Ivan could find  _ all of him _ so attractive when everyone else found something so wrong with the way he looked. It shouldn’t matter, he knew, but it was hard to feel deserving of affection when he felt like he looked like a disgusting, bloated blob. When Ivan teased, touched and wobbled, it felt good, helped ease his worries, but now...

Now that the issue wasn’t only his weight, he didn’t know exactly what he wanted or needed. He knew he needed the assurance that Ivan wouldn’t snoop, but he didn’t know how to say it. He didn’t want to be so direct, he wanted Ivan to come to the conclusion and say what he thought Alfred needed himself. He wanted Ivan to show that he still knew Alfred, still knew how he ticked and still knew what it was he wanted to hear… and mean it.

He wanted to hear the conviction in his voice, the same tone in his voice that he had as he showered Alfred with compliments, the same desperate whine that he had once used when he begged Alfred to believe him so they could just fuck already,  _ fucking tease _ .

More than anything, he wanted to be sure that Ivan meant it. He wasn’t just saying pretty words so Alfred would shut up. He was smarter than that now, and it had been a hard lesson to learn, one that he was absolutely not going to forget it any time soon.

Ivan looked up at Alfred and placed a hand on his side, gently rubbing to get Alfred’s attention. “I promise, Alfred, that I will never again allow politics to get in the way of my relationships. Not just with you, but with everyone. I… I have missed out on so much-,” Alfred had placed a hand on his back and the warmth had startled him slightly. “I no longer want to be a puppet.”

Alfred might not have believed him if he hadn’t looked away and hadn’t realized that he really  _ had _ missed out on so much. Ivan had said before; that he wanted more friends, never wanted to be lonely again, and didn’t know how to make them, especially not with how many people were afraid of him. Alfred had never taken him seriously, because he had never been  _ afraid _ of Ivan… only what Ivan could and would do with the power of his government behind him.

Now, with the space between them and the isolation that Alfred had felt pressured into taking, he could understand. He believed him. He understood.

The angle made it uncomfortable, but he pressed a kiss to Ivan’s nose, plopping his head back down onto the pillow with a smile. “I believe you.” He said.

Ivan lay his head back down on Alfred’s chest and smiled. It felt nice to be believed, felt even nicer to be accepted back into Alfred’s arms and invited onto his soft, sweet belly, surrounded by warmth at most angles. “I would also like to make more time together, in neutral places.” He felt Alfred’s breath hitch but waited for him to speak his troubles.

“Can we… not spend so much time in Europe? I’ve had my fill of it for a while.” He hadn’t meant to, but he couldn’t keep the tone from his voice. He hadn’t been to Europe for a couple years, not until the virus was gone, but he remembered the humiliation of being on planes, being the fattest person aboard, purchasing two seats so no one had to sit next to him, and then so he would fit… it had been borderline painful, and that had to have been fifty pounds ago. He had flown to Europe on Air Force 1, with his bosses and their spouses, so no public eye had been there to judge him this time, but he still didn’t look forward to eventually hopping on another public plane.

Ivan noticed the dejected tone in Alfred’s voice and waited for an explanation. “When I first started putting on weight after our split…” He chuckled, and Ivan knew it was not a kind laugh. “My boss sent me around the world on a mission to get me out of his face and to slim down. Said I was embarrassing to be around. I didn’t lose any weight, as you can tell, and after he sent me over to France, Francois’ boss called mine to complain that I had gotten him fat.”

Ivan’s hand rested stubbornly on Alfred’s side, waiting for him to swat it away. “That was bullshit, and I told my boss so, but… He didn’t care; declared me a lost cause and tried to fire me. Obviously that wasn’t going to work, and I’ve never cared about what that bastard has ever tried to say about me, but… Going to so many places, it’s never been so obvious that I just… don’t fit. I don’t fit in, but I just also literally don’t fit. Germany and I went on a hike, a fucking  _ hike _ , I hadn’t gone hiking in  _ years _ , Ivan, and it felt so  _ nice _ to be outside and active, but… we went to these little towns and I just… I just didn’t  _ fit _ .” His voice wobbled and he tried to clear it, trying to ignore the tears that threatened to spill over and run down his cheeks. He was glad Ivan had his ear to his chest, he didn’t want Ivan to see him crying. “It’s so  _ humiliating _ .”

There were a lot of reasons why it would be humiliating for the younger man. He had never particularly struggled with feeling “other”, because it had always been a  _ good thing _ to him. Ivan knew, however, how he felt. The looks had changed over the years, but it was not so long ago that he had felt ostracized for his large, quite frightening size. It was why he kept his coat on into spring, sometimes into summer if he hadn’t lost the 40 pounds he tacked on during fall and winter time. He ran his thumb over the side of Alfred’s belly, reveling in the way the blubber just melded to his touch, warm and soft… he wanted to rub lotion into it and see how it would feel, softer and slick… no, back on track. “I… apologize, Alfred.”

Alfred snorted and shook his head. “It’s not like it’s your fault, hon. I packed all this on myself, remember?” His voice was bitter, and Ivan couldn’t stand to hear it. He picked his head up and watched as Alfred tried to hide the tears that streaked down his red cheeks, but Ivan got up and sat next to him in the bed, and then dragged him over, until Alfred helped him finish the job, snuggling into Ivan’s open legs, surprised that Ivan’s legs still spread that wide.

“You may have put on the weight yourself, but was not for right reasons.” Alfred felt Ivan’s voice vibrating in his chest, against his ear. “I had a very large hand to play in that, and I apologize.” Alfred turned over and rested his cheek on the cool, firm bulge of Ivan’s beer gut and sighed into the wiry hair that coated the area, knowing Ivan felt his hot tears dripping onto his cooler skin.

“I appreciate that… but you don’t have to apologize for me getting fatter.” Voice still bitter, he scrubbed at his eyes, feeling hyper-aware of the way his tits pressed together, fighting for space with his plush biceps, barely contained between Ivan’s spread legs.

“I am not. I am apologizing for not being there to adore every delightful pound.” He gave Alfred’s side a quick squeeze and kissed the top of his head. “I wanted to spoil you into obesity, not sadden you to it. I adore you, Alfred, I never wanted to end up the way we had.”

Alfred chuckled and moved his head so his forehead rested against that coarse hair, nose pressing into that stubborn tummy of his. “I love you too, Ivan.”

Just like that, they were made up. Alfred was too tired and too happy with where he was to hold his grudge, and Ivan had wanted to break it down from the moment the grudge had gone up. He had meant everything he said, and wanted to help Alfred remember just how much Ivan adored everything about him, from his stomach, to his terrible taste in clothes, food, alcohol… he couldn’t wait to show him, spend more time with him and build up the trust between them once more.

He had so much of Alfred’s body and mind to explore, he had missed so much time. Neither could wait to get started.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone for all of your comments and kudos! I save every single email that I get saying someone left me kudos and treasure it forever! Feel free to stalk me on Twitter at FantabuloussAssa!


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